A Scaaarry Story- The weeks prior to my Etsy Shop's Opening

It's coming... my shop will soon be two. So like any good mom I'm looking back at the milestones of the last two years and thinking a bit about the beginning.

I'll try to tell you how severe my "butterflies" were at the thought of opening my first shop. They felt more like swallows divebombing at full speed into my stomach lining. I was crabby, horribly twisted up feeling and tense through the shoulders like you wouldn't believe. All this for weeks before I listed my first item. I feel pretty sorry for my husband in retrospect. I can remember him looking at me and saying, "are you sure you want to do this? Cause this doesn't look like something you're looking forward to doing." I know it didn't look like I was reaching out to grasp a life long dream but seemed more as if I was anticipating gall bladder surgery.

My Etsy Shop's Banner

It was just plain scary. By listing my work I thought I was inviting people to view it, judge it, dislike it, love it, buy it, or ignore it. My work is who I am and it felt very very personal. Anyone who's ever done a critique session in a college art class knows the trepidition with which you pin your work to the board. It's with a prayer to be kind, to be constructive not destructive, you're hoping for encouragement from strangers and the risk of an unkind remark or flippant judgement can be paralyzing.

The first item I listed- My Scribble Heart

But I did it anyways. AND if any of you are contemplating taking this step, or starting a blog, I have to tell you that the experience was NOTHING like my fears. Instead of standing there holding my work up before the world I merely sat at my computer, in my home, and uploaded a few photos. There was no dealing with judgements, kind or unkind, there was no sneering comments from passerbys. Instead I found encouragement, a community, friends, and lots and lots of hearts. I didn't have to try to sell my work, people would view it and if it called to them they bought it. There was no convincing, no pushing. I love that. Because really I don't want to push my work on people I want them to see it, and if they love it, buy it. If they don't love it, that's fine with me because I really really want the people who purchase my work to belong to it, if you know what I mean. 

But I was scared and I want to tell you that it's ok to be scared. You're fearful because you're taking a step into the unknown. It will be ok , you can do it, and the satisfaction you'll feel for having been brave with your work will be a high that will propel you to do more. To risk more. To dream of more. I know in my soul that you too can do it. After all, I did. :)

Prep*Work

Prep Work. It kind of says it all right there. Prep is something we do in advance to make something ready, usually in anticipation of a commitment of time or otherwise. Work is the mundane, repetitive things we do in order to achieve something greater. My life seems to consist of a lot of prep and work right now. Here's some of the things I've been working on:

• Wire work- so I can stitch up a few more flowers to send to my editor and designer to play around with as they work on the layout and design of the book.
• Writing up an article to send off to a magazine.
• Researching the blogging world, who's here, which platforms are the best, what are my options with say, Wordpress vs. Blogger.
• Improving my blog. I'm no html genius so it's been going a little slowly.
• I'm saying no to my son quite a bit lately, and taking the time to explain the right and wrong in situations. Really I'd rather not have to, but we're building character :).
• Gardens- I've done a bit of pruning and raking trying to ready the space for spring.
• Home- I honestly haven't put enough time in and the place needs a spring cleaning bad.
• Projects- I've done quite a bit of gesso-ing over old paintings and boxes lately, preparing to paint them. I've also been helping a friend prepare the decorations for an event she's sponsoring in May. Again, the end result is going to be fabulous!

When we, as artists, mothers, gardeners, or friends, invest time preparing for something we are investing in the future. We are preparing for a season of growth in our art, personal lives, or life experiences. It's a little mundane at times, but so worth it when you think a bit about it. All the actions I've been taking above will pay off. The magazine will come out and I'll have that thrill of seeing my work in print. This blog, will eventually be completely kick ass. My home will be clean and I'll be able to enjoy the space and beauty it contains. The projects- well, they'll be fabulous or not, can't tell yet, but I've taken them to the place they need to be so that I can create the fabulous. My son will grow up to be thoughtful and caring of others. It'll all happen, but I recognize that it wouldn't if I don't put the time in now. It's all good, it's all right, but none of it is easy.

What are you preparing for? What do you find yourself doing now, to prepare for future success? Where do you put your time and effort? Just some thoughts I had this morning.... :)

Disappointed- but dealing with it.

Today's an up and down day. Actually, down then up I guess. It started whenI ran over to my local JoAnn Etc. to buy Ruth Rae's Layered Tattered, and Stitched. I had flipped through it before, loved the book, and keep thinking of it so I figure I should hand over one of my 50% coupons and get me one.

Alas, they had every book BUT that one. On the way out I found the latest Sew Somerset on the rack. Instantly a thundercloud must have appeared over me 'cause I just started grumbling because my last submission wasn't in it. Which is a dumb thing to be upset over- cause they might still use it for another issue. I was just disappointed. Besides- I have a BOOK coming out. Talk about needing some perspective.

It came as soon as I got home. First, the issue is great. I love everything in it. They seem to get better and better each time. If my work didn't get in, then at least it's because they has so much cool stuff to put in. Kind of consoling. Then I checked my e-mail. In it I found an e-mail from my editor with a lovely little attachment that made my heart actually leap. It was my book cover!!!! I can't show it yet but it's bright and pretty and will definitely stand out on the shelf. It's so much better than I imagined.

Down then up. I know as an artist that putting my work out there is putting myself out there. Sometimes I face rejection. Perhaps even a nasty critique or two. But I know it'll be worth it. It IS worth it. Every time I write something that encourages someone else it makes it totally worth it. Putting my work out there is the price I pay so that I have that voice. So that it will be heard. Totally worth it!

Influences: Odilon Redon

I bought a magazine today just because as I was flipping through it I saw an article about Odilon Redon. Odilon Redon was a French painter/printmaker who is best known for his Symbolist paintings. I love him best for his pastel paintings of floral bouquets. I stumbled upon an exhibit of his work at the Chicago Institute of Art years and years ago. I was there to see a Monet exhibit and in a little side gallery was this amazing composition with vibrant reds, indigo blues, and a gorgeous composition. A truly pivotal experience for me because not only did it introduce me to the lusciousness of pastels but it also gave me an image of beauty and composition that has been a standard of measurement I've used for my own works.

This afternoon I was thinking about influences and how important they are. Much of my personality today for instance is a result of influences past and present. Experiences, people, places I've visited , and the things I've loved have all changed the way I see, act, and think about other things. More than just passing fancy, these are influences that have become part of the fabric of my being.

It was almost 20 years ago that I happened upon this artist and he still has such an emotional hold upon me that I find myself purchasing a magazine JUST because it contains an article about him and shows some of his work. I've wondered occasionally about the importance of what I do, because really, what I do, is make pretty things. Not even things that people need. Just things that make me happy and reflect my aesthetic. But if a only somewhat famous artist from the 1900's can have such a big influence on me and my work- perhaps my life, my work, and my loves can have a positive influence in the life of someone else. And that gives me a lot of satisfaction.

Inspiration- First Post

Today I thought a lot about what I would write to you tonight. Because this is my first post I thought I would like to define to you what I would like this blog to be. I would like it to be a source of inspiration, I would like it to be a place to find beauty, I would like it to be a reflection of all the good and wonderful in life. I would also like it to be a reflection of my aesthetics and interests. So I right off I can tell you it will have a lot of art, nature, and beauty. Plus a healthy dose of domesticity, creativity, and fun! Most of all I am looking forward to interacting with you all. Please free to comment often and if you have any questions about anything please let me know!