Today's Theme: Tension

Overflowing and Overwhelming

Sometimes themes in our lives just appear. We don't have to search for them or pull them from our innermost beings, or borrow them from someone else. They're reoccurring thoughts that just seem to come to us again and again. I've heard some call this process "ruminating" or "pondering". I've also heard others describe the thoughts as "whispers" and or perhaps "signposts". Today I woke up thinking about the word tension. I've never pondered the word before but lying in bed this morning I thought about what it means. Tension in a situation is usually considered bad. Tension in a relationship could be good- if it's an excited or anticipatory tension, or it could be a little scary. As in "the tension between them created anger on his side and bewilderment on hers".

Creating the necessary slack

The tension I deal with primarily in my work is physical. When I bend and wrap wire I try to use the tension of the wire to my advantage. I've learned to manipulate it as well. When I begin a sculpture, the first thing I do is throw the spool on the floor and pull up a length of it, wiping with a rag and straightening it slightly as I pull. Try working with wire straight off the spool and it's all spiral-y and much more difficult. Throwing it on the ground gives me a 1-3 ft. slack that eases the tension of the spiral. If I was to cut the wire and work with it as a piece, instead of from the spool, then I've noticed my work looses much of it's gracefulness and fluidity. It's working with the right amount of tension that allows me to get the smooth lines and curves. So here was a case where tension, handled correctly was a necessary and good thing all together.

Simply organized and ready for inspiration to strike!

The other tension I experience is a tension-anxiety. This seems to be most evident when I feel like I have a deadline approaching and I feel overwhelmed. My house actually makes me feel like this often. My studio room ESPECIALLY. It overflows with things that don't really have a home, that fill up my working space so that I don't feel like I can work in it. I end up on the dining room table instead. The larger space of the living room/dining room combined with the clear flat surface of the table allows me to think and process the "to-do" or steps of the project. But I love my art room and would really like to be able to work in it and not just use it as a big supply closet. So I decided to give the organization a go. I started with the fabric. Please note the chaos of the first photo. That is soooo symbolic of my life. Then there's the nicely organized, you can see all the colors, and fabric patterns. This is what I would like my life to be. Somewhere in between these two however, is the comfortable life. I have tried living with all my ducks in a row, all my folds correct, all the patterns showing and it doesn't work for me. Without the tension created by the chaos I wouldn't ever take the time to change-I'd be immobilized. So after a little ruminating, I have to believe that tension, like boredom, necessity, and fear are all positive emotions. They are the emotions that cause me to take action and change- without them life would be static. And really very very boring. :)

How does Your Conversation Go?

Yesterday I pulled out a big canvas I'd prepped the other day and started to paint. I have a big spot at the top of my stairs and I've been envisioning a landscape there for some time. I wanted it fairly abstract, I wanted to feel renewed and connected with God when I saw it, and I wanted it fairly large. So glopping the paint straight on to the canvas, and with my 3" wide flat I started to mix the paint and spread the paint.

I love these moments. It's all about feeling the medium and there's an interaction that takes place, almost like a private conversation between the painting and me. I'll smear some blue and it'll say "oooh ooh- and I need green over here" or "now you need a streak of orange over there". It goes on like that for a while. Sometimes I'll try something and immediately see it doesn't work, or that it might work but only if I do.... The painting or collage is done when the conversation ends. Every once in a while I'll get an insight or inspiration that amazes me and that's when I feel like the Holy Spirit has swooped in and entered the conversation. I feel as if the time creating, and the work I'm creating are both blessed then.

I wonder if this makes sense to any of you. I wonder how your creative experiences go. What does your inner voice tell you as you're working? Mine goes through elation, frustration, (horror sometimes when I do something REALLY off), and eventually I reach a state of satisfaction and peace. Not always, but usually I can get there.

What is your process like? Is it less of a conversation and more of a dance? Or is your experience more prosaic, do you hear a "here-here-here- and here". Never a "oops-NOT THERE!" That wouldn't be wrong, just different than I experience and so I'm curious. What is it like for other artists? Is there a conversation at all?

Just some thoughts I had this morning, that I thought I'd throw your way. Hope you have a fabulous day and Happy Creating!

Of Possibilities and Plans...

Have you ever gotten ready for a trip, putting all your energies towards preparing for a great new adventure and then once you've left- you think about home? Traveling anywhere away from home always stirs the "reflecting on my life at home" thought thread for me. It's one of the things I look forward to most. I love traveling but one of the primary benefits for me is that it allows me to gain some perspective on my everyday life.

The book experience feels to me like a trip I've been on for a long time and now that I'm past the half way mark ( I'll be done completely in January) I'm realizing how much of my time and energy has been unavailable to me. A qualification to be a mixed media artist should be a low attention level. We flit from one thing to another, to another. And although that worked completely in my favor designing the various book projects, I've been unable to really luxuriate in that "whither I will" feeling for a while. I was in the land of "set project" and it's been hard on me at times. I feel the tug to go off in different directions but have to be a grown up and tell myself "not til AFTER I get my work done." Of course that didn't always work and I have followed a few meandering side paths but the majority of my creative energy has been flowing into this book.

But now the little whisper is saying "not now- but soon..." and I'm like a kid in a candy shop. I can't even start to choose in what direction I'd like to move next. Do I want to invest my time in art jewelry classes? What about going back to the pastel drawings? What about this writing bug I've had? I could take classes locally. The art journalling I see artists like Zinnia and other women exploring is really exciting and I think I'd like to try more of that as well. Just choosing between 2-D and 3-D was impossible. So I'd decided to stumble on and let myself meander a bit. Don't worry about a direction and just play, play, play.

Then today I opened a package that seemed to focus me again. It was a little tiny package and inside were business cards. My first ever and there right on the front I saw them. My etsy address, and this blog address. Seeing those written right on there reminded me that I have goals with regards to both my etsy site and this blog that I haven't reached yet. Goals to make them amazing and informative and enjoyable for others. I have ambitions for these two sites that I can not wait to begin to work towards again. Lots and lots of plans that I want to see fulfilled and so I've decided. When this is done I'm going to refocus on these two things and see just how far I can take them. This isn't incompatible with the whole fun thing either. I can play constructively.

Just not yet.

Oh, and the business cards- Shelley of Singlestonestudios.com did a fabulous job designing them for me- Thanks Shelley, I love them!!!

Letting Go of Your Work

It was 4 months and 25 projects but I am done done done! And there's nobody home so I'm going to celebrate with you!! Life's been pretty crazy lately, as I learn to balance family, the book, my job as a stay at home mom, and friends. At times I really wondered if I could do it and although I'm not done with it all yet- I am now one HUGE step closer!

The last project I finished was a bracelet. When I submitted it as part of my final project list last July it was a vague idea teasing me. I loved the idea but didn't know how to do it. So every time you hear me suggest that you, my artist friend, take a risk, I want you to know I do it too. The bracelet was a risk- but I had confidence that I could work it out as I went. Well the time went and I was down to my last 4 projects and I still had only a vague idea of what to do. But you know, as soon as it was time to "do it" the inspiration came. That's just one small experience but it actually sums up the progress of most of this book. I get an idea, have no idea how to do it, commit to doing it, and then when the time comes- the inspirations there. It's been a wonderful experience and I really feel as if God has been right beside me this entire time. As if it was a partnership with him doing all the hardwork and my job being to wait or act as the moment dictated.

The picture of my son above reminds me that when you write or create from the heart, letting that work go, is like throwing stones into the water. Our work is something we want to hold close and treasure. The projects I've sent to the publisher are my soul's work from the last 4 months. I could have held them close but by sending them I was making the choice to let go and toss them as hard and far as I could. They'll fly for awhile then drop into the water. And then, if I'm lucky, they'll ripple the water in countless circles and effect the lives of others. Hopefully encouraging them to do the same.

Although- if you want to know a secret...I always take a few pictures of the completed work before I send them anywhere. That way I can pull the image I want, whenever I want, and visit it. I know that I would never have made the jump to selling my work on etsy if I hadn't figured that one out. I need to know that I still have them available to me in some form. They're just too much a part of me.